If you’ve ever worked in an office, you know the feeling of coming in on a Monday exhausted from the weekend. You want to sit down, fire up your computer, and disappear into your work until it’s time to go home.

But there’s always that one person in the office who is always in a good mood. You find yourself wondering, “How is that person always so cheerful?”

Well, if you’ve ever worked with me, you probably know I’m that person.

So, how do I show up on a Monday morning cheerful and ready to brighten everyone’s day? Sometimes I’m not even sure myself. In fact, for a long time, I didn’t entirely know how I became this way.

Some of it is probably genetics. Maybe I’m just wired to see the glass half full most of the time. But a massive part of it comes down to my life experiences and my faith.

The Trauma, the Drama and Ferris Bueller

I’m no different from most people, but looking back, I had what felt like a difficult childhood. I actually thought my life was completely easy until one night my Mom packed my brother and me into the car and told us we were going to stay with Daddy Gene. Only years later did I understand that she was leaving my Dad, for reasons I didn’t fully grasp at the time.

Eventually, we moved from a small town in rural eastern North Carolina to Raleigh. I ended up attending a school so large that my graduating class was nearly twice the size of the entire town we had left behind.

High school was a memorable time, full of extreme highs and deep lows. One dear friend died by suicide. Then, one morning, I learned that a girl in my homeroom, the one I had a massive crush on during sophomore year but never told, had been killed in a single-car accident.

Through it all, I had a wide-ranging group of friends. Saying Ferris Bueller was my hero would be an understatement. In many ways, he captured my high school experience. I was the kid who got along with everyone and spent time with every group. As Grace says in the movie: “The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads. They all adore him. They think he’s a righteous dude.”

And when it came to high school, I wasn’t about to let Ferris outdo me.

During the 1988–1989 school year, I didn’t skip school just nine times. It was more like 60. I still managed to maintain a 3.2 GPA, but there was a catch. The Wake County Public Schools system introduced a new policy that year stating that more than 20 unexcused absences in any class meant an automatic failure. As a result, my GPA plummeted to 1.75, and I had to repeat my senior year.

Even so, I graduated in 1990, was chosen as the Senior Class Night speaker, attended Louisburg College (where I made the Dean’s List), and then went on to UNC Greensboro. At UNCG, I wrote for the student newspaper, helped start a newspaper with good friends, interned at the News & Record (where I later worked part-time), and graduated on time with a degree in English and Political Science with a concentration in Journalism.

I’m leaving out a lot of the trauma and drama from that era, but the point is that I survived. Somehow, I made it through all that chaos, and now I am here to talk and write about it.

What’s the Alternative?

Constantly overcoming adversity has given me a deeply positive outlook on life. Somewhere along the way, I came to believe that if something didn’t break you, you should be grateful, keep going and move forward.

When terrible things happen, my response has always been: What’s the alternative?

When my kids come home from school, or even my wife, much to her chagrin, and launch into an immediate diatribe about their bad day, I am always the one who stops them. I’ll say, “Wait, before you tell me about your awful day, tell me at least one or two good things that happened.”

For whatever reason, I have just grown accustomed to hunting for the positive in everything.

To be fair, it’s not just about grit. Alongside navigating life’s hurdles, I have grown deeply in my faith, and I’ve found an amazing group of friends through my involvement in F3 who continually lift me up.

Now, having a constant positive outlook on life doesn’t mean I don’t get down and discouraged. To the contrary, I absolutely have those experiences. I just bounce back from them quickly.

Again, what’s the alternative? Have a crappy day? Get all pissed off, take that out on everyone you see, and in turn make their days miserable, too? Not a chance. As a servant leader with a servant heart, I want to leave the world better than I found it, so you won’t catch me doing that.

If anything, I am a true believer in the notion of “fake it till you make it.” Sometimes forcing yourself to smile is the only way to overcome. (A really bad dad joke also helps.)

Perspective is a Choice

At the end of the day, I really do believe that being positive is a choice.

Some days it comes easy, and I have a helluva lot to be happy and positive about. Some days, it isn’t easy. But I stick to my routine:

• Go workout.
• Hang out after for coffee with my F3 guys.
• Come home, shower, and make my bed.
• Get dressed and start the day.

It may turn out to be a tough day, and I may feel the weight of it, but by the time I begin my workday, I have already achieved several distinct wins. And that is already more than the 18 to 20 people in Wake County who didn’t get the chance to wake up this morning.