The Association Executives of North Carolina (AENC) hosted a Legislative Reception every two years to kick off the long session of the NC General Assembly. And this wasn’t your run-of-the-mill event. The reception brought out the who’s who of North Carolina’s political scene. It was a chance to connect with those recently elected or re-elected. There were members of the NC Senate, NC House, Council of State, judges, and more.

On the association side, it was like the “Academy Awards.” You had CEOs, presidents, and other senior staff from dozens of organizations representing almost every profession or industry you could imagine. The event was THE event of the year that helped welcome government back to Raleigh.

As the Executive Director of AENC, one of my responsibilities, one I embraced, was walking the halls of the legislative office buildings on Jones Street passing out our annual Resource Guide and invitations to attend the Legislative Reception. Both items were something legislative offices looked forward to receiving.

This particular year was unique for many of the legislative assistants (LAs) because I was a new face and they didn’t recognize me. After about the second or third office, the LAs began asking, “Who should I tell the Senator or Representative to look for when they get to the event?”

Without thinking, I said, “Tell them to look for the guy in the purple bow tie.”

Now mind you, I had never tied a bow tie in my life. And I didn’t even own one. The only bow tie I had ever worn was one of those cheesy clip-on versions that came with your tux at prom.

So after dropping off around 170 invitations and directories, I immediately made my way to the men’s department at Belk’s at Crabtree Valley Mall to purchase a bow tie. The person there was extremely helpful and fortunately I knew exactly what colors I was looking for: purple with a little green – AENC’s colors.

Once I got home, I went online, found a YouTube video from a very Southern gentleman and watched and re-watched that video. I tied and re-tied that tie in the mirror until I was dialed in and ready for the Legislative Reception.

The evening of the reception went off perfectly. And sure enough, I can’t tell you how many people came up to me and noticed me because I was “the guy with the purple bow tie.”

And I have to admit, as someone who runs an association, we naturally like attention.

The number of people who complimented me on the bow tie told me, over and over again, that from that night forward I might never wear a regular tie again in my life.

I learned that a bow tie is the only piece of clothing that makes people smile before you even talk.

For years, the bow tie became my trademark. I enjoyed making jokes about why I started wearing one. My favorite was telling people that I kept getting those other ties caught in the paper shredder.

I also love when people ask if I actually tie my bow ties. My usual response is:

“That’s like asking if a Southerner eats instant grits.”

Seriously?

It’s sort of funny how few people wear bow ties because they complain about how hard they are to tie. The fact is, if you wake up every morning and tie your shoes, it’s essentially the same knot. Personally, I think regular neckties and their various knots are far more complicated.

Although here’s a funny fact: I learned to tie a bow tie in the mirror and I struggle terribly doing it without one. I’ve tried teaching people how to tie them, but I have to stand behind them and in front of a mirror. Normally I just send them the same YouTube link to the same Southern gentleman I learned from all those years ago.

In 2011, the bow tie became more than something I wore around my neck. It became part of a brand.

When I decided to run for the Wake Forest Board of Commissioners, a good friend helped me design a logo, and I said I wanted to somehow incorporate a bow tie into it.

For the next twelve years and five campaigns, I used the bow tie to help market me.

I lost my race in 2011. However, in 2013 I was successful and served four years on the Board of Commissioners, two of those as Mayor Pro Tem.

In 2017, I ran unsuccessfully for mayor. During that campaign, I took the bow tie branding to another level. I even hosted a “Design Your Own Bow Tie” coloring contest at a downtown event.

I lost that race by only about 521 votes.

I would go on to run two more races in 2019 and 2023.

Now, following a 25-year career in the association management profession as a staff member, I am hanging out my shingle as a professional consultant. My goal, like it’s always been, is to help associations realize their mission and vision with as little friction as possible.

Nearly twenty years ago I started wearing a bow tie to stand out in a crowded room at the AENC Legislative Reception. What I didn’t realize was that a small piece of fabric would eventually become part of my identity; my campaign trademark and now the brand of Tying It Together Consulting.

Turns out that small knot of fabric didn’t just tie my collar together; it helped tie my story together too.

If your association or organization is looking for guidance on strategy, leadership, governance, or navigating complex challenges, I’d love to help. At Tying It Together Consulting, my focus is simple: helping organizations connect the dots between their mission, their people and their path forward. Sometimes all it takes is the right perspective (and maybe a good bow tie) to bring it all together.