Why Thank-You Notes Still Matter

I don’t know about you, but growing up, my Mom was a stickler for writing thank-you cards. I can still hear her voice on the phone saying, “Jimmy, did you remember to write your Gran and thank her for your birthday card?”

I knew it was a big deal, but I was the worst at remembering. And my Mom was the worst at nagging me about it.

When I joined the NC Association of REALTORS®, I started picking up on the fact that there truly is a lot of value in the thank-you note. I also started noticing how meaningful it felt when I received a letter and could tell it had been personally signed. It was even more powerful when someone took just a few seconds to include a handwritten note.

In my role as Director of Business Development, I leaned in on note writing. I wrote notes to sponsors, exhibitors, advertisers, potential sponsors, and anyone else I thought would benefit from receiving a handwritten note from me. It became my signature (pun intended). I signed every letter that went out of the office and treasured the opportunity to jot little notes on each one as I reflected on something about our connection.

Once I became a CEO, I made that an even more important aspect of who I was as a leader. While at AENC, I even purchased a purple Sharpie, which was one of our brand colors, to write and sign everything that went out from me. Even after our membership grew to more than 800 members, I hand-signed every renewal letter that went out of the office. And always with my purple marker. The staff thought I was nuts, but it was important to me. I wanted people to know my signature was real. And much like my experience with the REALTORS®, I enjoyed taking the time to leave little notes for those I knew well.

Even though my recent role with the Wake Forest Area Chamber of Commerce was brief, I made it a point on my very first day as President to ask where the note cards were and to get a special Sharpie so I could start writing thank-you notes. I prided myself on the fact that I time-blocked at least one to two hours a week for them and averaged about 65 to 75 thank-you notes a month. And yep, you know it, every letter that went out with my name on it got an actual signature and often a note of thanks.

In this day and age, the power of receiving a handwritten note means so much. With the amount of email and text messages we get bombarded with, there is something special about going to the mailbox and seeing a note that is hand-addressed with a message written especially for you. Anyone can send an email or a text to say thanks, but a handwritten note says you mean something more.

And these days, we don’t get as much mail as we used to, so those letters really stand out.

Fast-forward to a few weeks ago. I was meeting with my business coach, Ryan Siegers, and we were discussing how things were going. During our conversation, I mentioned that I had been extremely busy and was sowing a lot of seeds in hopes of producing fruit for my business.

He noted that he was seeing a lot of really good things, and then he asked me a very powerful question:

“What are you doing to water the seeds you’ve sown?”

If you plan to get a bountiful harvest from the seeds you have planted, you have to tend to them. You can’t just hope and pray they will produce.

I honestly didn’t have an answer.

As we talked, it became evident that after all these years of being a servant leader in the nonprofit space, one of the things that had always set me apart hadn’t made its way into Tying It Together.

“Ryan,” I said, “I have been officially in business for about three months, and do you know how many thank-you notes I’ve written?”

The answer was a big fat zero.

How in the world had something that used to be my trademark not made its way into my business?

I started feeling terrible. I have had so many meetings with people I care about who have guided me in business decisions, taken my calls, coordinated lunch meetings, and even sent me referrals. And I had not written one single thank-you letter.

I could hear my mom’s voice in the back of my head after that meeting.

Immediately following that conversation, I took to Amazon and ordered a set of blank note cards and envelopes, a rubber stamp with a bowtie, and a purple ink pad. Then I made a plan to get back to basics and start watering some seeds.

It sounds so simple: a thank-you card, a hand-signed document, or a little note. But they all mean something.

They mean you took the extra time to do something special for someone.

They mean the relationship matters.

They mean you are not just sowing seeds and hoping something grows. You are tending to the garden.

And sometimes, the smallest acts of gratitude are exactly the watering we need to help something meaningful grow.